The M*A*S*H Mix
by DoctorAwesome1
Summary: A collection of short M*A*S*H fics based on prompts. Please comment the prompts/words/phrases/ideas you want me to use for the upcoming stories in the mix! Stories should range anywhere from 100 words to hopefully no more than 2k. Stories can be pre-war, war, and post-war (comment if you want a specific one for your prompt). Other specifics can be requested.
1. The Bus Stop

_Prompt- two strangers meet on a snowy evening... (post war story)_

He sat down on the park bench and waited for the bus to arrive. Walking was his preferred method to get from home to work and work to home, but it was one of the snowiest days of the year so far, and Charles didn't feel like walking the entire distance in several inches of snow.

He leaned back and sighed, watching the warmth from his breath create a small wisp in front of him. And it was only a few minutes of waiting for the bus until he was joined by another person awaiting the arrival of the bus.

"Mind if I sit here?" He asked, pointing to the empty spot next to Charles.

"Go right ahead."

So the stranger sat down on the cold metal bench in silence. That is, until he spoke up.

"Aw, nuts!"

Charles looked over to the man, who was patting down his pockets.

"Is something the matter?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I must have dropped my wallet on my way over here."

Charles felt bad for the guy, and assuming he had his money for the bus fare in his wallet, decided to be generous on this chilled evening.

"Well if you need, I could pay for your ride."

The man smiled back. "That's awful nice. But it's not just the money I'm worried about, I had some real important photos in there. My wife, the girls, and a photo of my M*A*S*H unit."

"Did you say M*A*S*H? I too happened to serve in one of those. Where where you-"

But he was interrupted when the man let out a relieved laugh. As he sat up, he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet.

"Would you look at that! It was there the whole time!" He looked back to Charles, "I'm sorry, now what were you saying?"

"I was asking what unit you were stationed in."

He nodded and pulled out the worn black and white photograph out of his wallet and handed it to Charles. "The four-oh double seven."

Charles was shocked, clear as day in the picture he could make out Margaret, Hawkeye, Father Mulcahy, Klinger, and Kelley.

"Why... I don't believe it..." Charles quickly fished his own wallet from his coat pocket and handed his own M*A*S*H photo to the man.

"I too served in the 4077th, here."

Trapper looked over the photo. There was Margaret, Hawkeye, Klinger (not in a dress to his surprise), Father Mulcahy, Kelley, and a few new faces, along with no Frank.

"Well I'll be..." Trapper looked over to Charles. "Who would have known?"

Charles laughed. "You wouldn't happen to be the infamous Trapper John I had heard so much about?"

Trapper grinned his usual goofy smile, "That would be me."

"Well it's a pleasure to meet you, I am Charles Emerson Winchester the Third," he said, extending his hand in greeting.

Trapper took hold of his hand, "Well it's a pleasure to meet you as well, Chuck."

"Really, just call me Charles."

Trapper though for a moment before giving him a nod. "Hey Charles, would you by chance want to stay at my place for dinner? We could get to know each other a little better, plus, Louise makes one hell of a roast chicken."

Charles smiled, "Why, I believe I'd quite enjoy that."

And strangers they were no more.


	2. Fifty Dollars

_Prompt- wearing the wrong clothes (during war story)_

"As you'd call it, Captain, tasteful without being gaudy," Klinger exclaimed, doing a single twirl with his dress, "and it only took me a week to make," he added with pride.

BJ rubbed the material between his fingers. "I must say you're getting pretty good at this, Klinger. Ever think about quitting the army and becoming a seamstress?"

"That's what he's trying to do," Hawkeye said, looking over the new outfit.

The latest addition to the Klinger collection was a lovely soft fabric, knee length, sky blue dress. It wasn't the fanciest dress he had, but it was good for being his own making.

"And you're right, it really is tasteful, matches perfectly with your pearls," Hawkeye added.

"You know, Hawkeye, I remember an outfit of yours that was quite tasteful, or rather, lack of outfit."

BJ looked at the both of them, "Care to elaborate?"

Klinger laughed and sat down beside BJ. "It all happened back when Trapper was still here. The two captains held a fifty dollar bet weather or not Captain Pierce could go through the mess tent in his birthday suit without attracting any attention."

"So did you win?" BJ asked, turning to Hawkeye.

"Well, based on the number of whistles and cat calls, I can sadly say I was lacking fifty dollars by the end of it all."

BJ started laughing so hard he swore he was about to cry. "You two are just telling a tall tale, right? I mean, you didn't really waltz on into the mess tent with nothing on but your boots?"

"Well I was also wearing a hat if that counts."

BJ brought his laughter under control and finally bought into the memory Klinger shared. "I'd pay fifty just to see you get into one of Klinger's dresses for a whole day."

Now it was Hawkeye's turn to chuckle. "In one of his dresses?! Walking around naked is one thing, but that," he glanced over to Klinger, "not that I don't think you have good taste in fashion, but I'd never be able to pull it off," he said jokingly.

"I bet you could," BJ replied.

"Ha! As if I'd ever-"

"Fifty dollars," BJ said, with a serious manner, glancing back and forth between Klinger and Hawkeye.

"Wait you don't mean-"

"Oh yes I do," BJ added with a smirk.

Klinger was excitedly watching until now. He stood up and held out his hand, "You guys wait here, I think I've got something that would fit the Captain perfectly!"

Hawkeye watched as Klinger ran out of the swamp in search of god knows what kind of ridiculous dress. He nervously looked to BJ, "Oh, no! No deal! Nope! Never!"

"Aww, c'mon, Hawk," he said, reaching for his wallet, "fifty smackers if you can make it through the whole day without taking the dress off."

"No, never," he stated firmly.

"Okay, okay... how about seventy?"

Hawkeye thought for a moment. "Eighty."

"Seventy-five."

Hawkeye stood up and shook his hand, "Deal."

"Alright, let's just see how long you'll last."

/scene/

"Turn around."

Hawkeye turned around and let BJ zip up the back of the dress.

The dress fit perfectly as Klinger had said. It wasn't one that he had made himself; it went past the knees, the skirt was flared, and had a lovely red and violet floral pattern.

Klinger had come back again with a matching violet cardigan and a set of pearls. "Here, it's kinda cold out," he said, handing them over to Hawkeye.

"What are the pearls for?"

"No girl should go out without 'em."

BJ started cackling and motioned for Hawkeye to put on the cardigan and pearls.

Hawkeye sighed and pulled on the cardigan, and reluctantly pulled the necklace over his head. He straightened out the dress and gave it a twirl like Klinger had with his.

"Well it fits. It's actually pretty comfortable."

Klinger raised an eyebrow, "Don't get any ideas, Captain, this is _my_ section eight scam."

"Don't worry Klinger, I'm just admiring the fit."

Klinger smiled and nodded. "Might want to be careful going outside, though. It's a little breezy today."

BJ chuckled, "Yeah, Hawk, if the wind catches that dress just right-"

"Yeah yeah, don't worry, I've got boxers on underneath."

Klinger smirked, "Or would you prefer lace?"

"Klinger!" Hawkeye shouted, almost blushing. He turned to BJ and frowned, "I don't think you're paying me enough to do this!"


	3. I Understand

_Prompt- Not the only one (during-war story)_

"Radar, I promise we didn't take it! Are you sure you've looked everywhere?" BJ asked, starting to get flustered.

"Everywhere! I asked the Colonel, Major Houlihan, I checked under my bunk, under the desk, he's gone!" Radar glanced back and forth between Hawkeye and BJ, "Really you guys, if this is supposed to be some kind of a joke, it's not funny!"

BJ held up his hands, "Honest to God, Radar, we didn't take your bear!"

Radar sighed and sat down on Hawkeye's cot with a defeated slump. "Okay, I believe you, but I don't get it, I've looked everywhere. I mean, you guys don't understand, that bear is the only reminder I have of home... I know I'm not a kid anymore... but I just gotta find him!"

BJ watched as Hawkeye seated himself next to the distraught Corporal.

"I understand."

Radar looked up at Hawkeye, "You do?"

He gave him a quiet nod before reaching over to his footlocker and opening it up. Radar watched as Hawkeye rummaged though his belongings, starting to wonder if they did, in fact steal his bear and decided to hide it there.

But instead, Radar saw him pull out an old, worn owl.

"My mother made it for me a couple years before she died. As a kid I'd throw a fit whenever I lost it," Hawkeye said, running his hands over the stiches and seams of an old memory. "It's the only thing I have here to remind me of her, but it's just been sitting at the bottom of my foot locker since I got here."

Hawkeye smiled and handed the plush owl over to Radar. "You can hold onto it for the night. Now how about you go and get some sleep and stop worrying about your bear, I'll help you look for it in the morning."

Radar squeezed the owl against his chest and smiled back.

"Thank you, sir."

 ***Authors Note***

 **Thanks to those of you who have submitted prompts and/or comments so far, I really appreciate it and would love any more that you guys think up! Plenty more stories to come!**


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